May 2013
3 posts
12 tags
I AM GOING TO SPEND THE NEXT 4 MONTHS HIBERNATING...
8 tags
Watch
March 2013
1 post
February 2013
1 post
January 2013
7 posts
7 tags
Goals for 2014
1. Patience, it’s only 2013, don’t get ahead of yourself.
2.Compliment more, criticize less. Even in your head bitch, life is to short to pick everyone apart. Who cares if that fat 73 year old gay man has a chihuahua dressed as Elvis on his shoulder, accept it. Tell him how that baby blue ascot compliments his eyes.
3.Do more with less. Get creative…need a new outfit. Grab your old New Kids On...
December 2012
7 posts
Hello. Thank you for coming.: Oh lordy... Is this... →
okwhatnow:
I stumbled on this Kickstarter and I am….flabbergasted? This is just one little snippet that I found outrageous. Like there are droves of children who are feeling pressured to get fat so they will fit in???? Say what??
I think this book will probably upset a few people, i think it will…
Ok I was reading an article about this shit on one of my favorite blogs of...
So My Single Friend Went On A Date With A Man That...
So my friend goes on a blind date with one of these fine gentleman from the online dating website that has seafood lure for a name. She comes up to me and says “Hey, remember that guy I was telling you about? Well im going to meet up with him tonight.” So i was like “OK, Cool, Have a good time.” Unbeknownst to me that we would later wind up at the same place. I didnt know...
7 tags
Miami Art Basel Guide →
November 2012
12 posts
MIAMI, I HAS A STAND-UP COMEDY SHOW →
Does Tumblr still do the video chats?
I remember getting on a group chat with several indteresting Tumblr folk. I have since then become a responsible adult that longs for the carefree lifestyle she used to have.
7 tags
9 tags
11 tags
October 2012
4 posts
A 58 year old Single Jewish Lesbian who still...
You do things for others try to be nice and what? What do you get ladies and gentlemen? Zippity Doo Dah thats right. For 48 years of my life I have done nothing but try to make everyone happy and what? What’s my prize? What’s my pot of gold at the end of the rainbow? Zippity Do Dah. I say 48 cause i don’t count the first 10 years of my life, that was a time to be carefree and carry barrels...
A touching and warm hearted story you have...
Today at Walmart I witnessed the most amazing moment ever experienced. This little troll of an old lady was trying to buy cat food for her 75 cats and came up 5 dollars short. She started crying and pacing back and forth dragging some leaves that had apparently been stuck to the bottom of her long skirt since the 70’s. She started saying that she only had her son and he had left her 2 years...
This is me writing something completely unique and...
I have been disillusioned with the idea that I can be successful in the field of comedy entertainment. I feel like after a few years of chasing a dream that I can’t catch up to, Im losing my breath and patience to continue. Ultimately i cannot retire that dream, for there is nothing i think more of in this world than jokes, and how something completely unfunny is funny to me. Some people may...
September 2012
12 posts
7 tags
Charts: You Might Be the 47 Percent If… →
…you don’t owe federal income taxes because you’re a working mom, a soldier, a millionaire, or a corporation.
By now you’ve no doubt heard Mitt Romney’s thoughts about the “47 percent” of Americans “who pay no income tax.” But are you one of them? You might be if you are…
1 tag
The Greatest Fart Of All Time
I have been with my boyfriend for over 5 years now.
He is a musician and I am a comedian.
Obviously, he is the sexier one. He sings about making love in an abandoned field next to a really sexy roaring fire, or about battling addictions and overcoming life’s obstacles. I on the other hand, ask things like; whether a wet fart is funnier than a chunky fart, or ask what sauce would be a compliment...
1 tag
BOOBS →
1 tag
Help Miami Comedian Daleena Segui Win the "Hey... →
Please vote for our video in the “Dish Where is my AMC contest!!
Share it and ask your cousins and grandmas to vote for it. This comedian needs one less reason to commit suicide.
Yours Truly,
Daleena Segui
August 2012
20 posts
